The Wolfman Cometh

GMS administrators said it couldn't be done.  Staff members, sensibly enough, asked why we would want to do it in the first place.  Mr. Erskine and Mrs. Palmer assured us that our reputations as actors would take a hard hit, and that much of the student body would be outraged by this abominable, doomed exercise in self indulgence- and that is surely true.
      But Matt Rogers thinks this is the Broadway Knights' finest hour.
     "It's what we were put on this earth for," he said, on condition of anonymity.  "To cause terror and confusion at Georgetown Middle School.  To alienate our teachers and peers who were beginning to feel comfortable with the Broadway Knights Theatre Academy.  To try something that- as far as I can tell- has never been done: A full five minutes of film shot on the GMS stage, to hip-hop-jazz fusion, featuring, well, me!"
     The film to which Rogers refers is The Blue Note, the Broadway Knights' first.  It is, to Matt's mind, "far and away the most beautifully crafted, technically accomplished short ever made by any middle school....anywhere....ever."
     "It was a lot of work," he said, sliding his hipster Ray-Ban's onto his always-tousled hair, darting his eyes around in search of the paparazzi.  "Most middle schools are, you know, ordinarily a shoot and scoot, digital outfit.  Generally speaking, they don't have lights, cameras, sound, or people to run them.  And they certainly don't have, well, you know....me!"
     Miss Allison Erskine, the goddess of theater games, doesn't agree.
     "What they don't have is, well, someone like me," she said, reaching into her handbag and extracting a stack of 8 X 10 glossies.  "I'm the one who made the Wolfman, a nickname acquired by Rogers after he was asked to crawl around on the stage during a theater game, acting like an animal.  If it hadn't been for me, he'd 've never rolled his shoulders and leered.  There'd be no him.  Just sayin'."
     "I'm a little disappointed that Matt thinks the movie's all about him," said Tiffany Raeuber, the film's femme fatale.  "Take Joanie and me and Alyson out of the movie and he'd be making wolf eyes at himself."
     "We're very excited about the film's release," said a source close to Mr. Michael Williams, the school's principal.  "Given the difficult economic times we find ourselves in, the potential revenue boost from this project could mean donuts and coffee in the faculty lounge."
     The long-awaited public release of The Blue Note has been scheduled for the first week of September, pending the final editing by Gettysburg College.  Pre-release copies of the movie and a press packet have been sent to film critics at The Washington Post, The New York Times, and The Los Angeles Times.
     Security has been increased at Georgetown Middle School in anticipation of the film's release.  Several special limousines, disguised as school buses, will be used to safely get Matt and his Broadway Knight co-stars to and from school.

More than Working at Grotto's

Calling all Broadway Knight Theatre academians: The time has come for some serious tablework- and we're not talking about putting out plates and silverware, doing dishes, or storing left-overs in the fridge.  We're definitely not talking about getting a wait-staff job at a restaurant, or playing a game of ping-pong or pool.

What we are talkiing about is: sitting around a table, eating Doritos and cake- do you smell what Joanie Shinn is cooking?-, drinking punch, and doing a read through of the winter play.  What we are talking about is: establishing characters, intentions, subtexts, and motivations before any more Padawan Learners are permitted into the academy.  What we are talking about is: discovering whether Brittany Yeo can still get in touch with her inner-five-year-old, Madison Bendistis is still a good mother, and Alex Messick has the physical strength to remove Mr. Bill Pepper from the stage.

Now Miss Allison Erskine might have you believe that tablework has something to do with working at Grotto's Grand Slam in Lewes until you can pay your college tuition and buy your own car.  But don't you believe it!  Tablework is really about taking the next step in your theatrical training.

And Now for a Brief Commercial Message

Do you remember back in the day when we were a mere drama club and we'd never heard of ninja or busy bee?  Do you remember when Miss Allison Erskine was only a mass of pixels on Mrs. Erskine's computer screen instead of the crazed mistress of theater games?  Do you remember the weekly commercials we did, during the Friday morning announcements?  Well, guess what?  It's time to get our advertising groove on!

AMC has Mad Men, but GMS has Broadway Knights.  Who needs a creative director like Don Draper when GMS has Mr. Benjamin Erskine, anyway?  Just take a look at these Broadway Knights Padawan Learners- yes, I looked it up, and that is the accepted plural- and the actors they could replace:

• Healthy Choice has Julia Louis-Dreyfus, GMS suggests Tiffany Raeuber.
• Gieco has the Caveman, GMS suggests Matt "Wolfman" Rogers.
• Old Spice has Isaiah Mustafa, GMS suggests Alex Messick.
• Progressive Insurance has Stephanie Courtney, GMS suggests Joanie Shinn.
• Activia has Jamie Lee Curtis, GMS suggests Brittany Yeo.
• State Farm has Eddie Matos, GMS suggests Kirby Wilson.
• Chase Sapphire has Molly Culver, GMS suggests Alyson Tober.
• Exedrin has Elisabeth Moss, GMS suggests Allie Spaccarelli.
• Covergirl has Drew Barrymore, GMS suggests Madison Bendistis.
• Delish has Rachael Ray, GMS suggests Rebecca Wilson.

How many of these professional actors do you suppose would willingly do a weekly public service announcement for Georgetown Middle School?  But then again, how many Broadway Knights do you suppose would turn down a boat-load of cash?

Public Relations Is Everything!

As Jennie "JWoww" Farley, Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi know, public relations is everything!  If Alyson Tober had the kind of PR these three stooges have, it would be she, rather than Kent Boyd, in the So You Think You Can Dance finale.  "An app for that I have," Yoda says.

Thanks to Miss Allison Erskine's participation in our summer program, the Broadway Knights Theater Academy is getting a write-up on the Gettysburg College web site.  It seems the theater department at GC is intrigued by the remarkable progress the students made under her student-tutelage.  The fact that Miss Erskine will shamelessly attach copies of her 8 x 10 glossies for the public's consideration shows that she has learned well from Jersey Shore's cast.

Now if the gate-keepers of the Broadway Knights Theater Academy Facebook could just learn to link this blog and any other wirte-ups to their page, Rebecca Wilson might wind up on the YouTube competition of America's Got Talent.

Why Not Kirby Wilson?

So how is it that Justin Bieber gets a movie deal and a book deal, but Kirby Wilson doesn't?  As a pseudo-Howie Mandel might say, "What's the deal?"

Sure Justin Bieber put a few videos on YouTube and got discovered by Scooter Braun and promoted by Usher.  Sure he is 16 and looks like he is still in middle school.  And, of course, that's the point.  Kirby is in middle school, and he always gets the girl....okay, girls.  Do you think Justin Bieber could get the girl without singing a note, dancing a step, or putting on make-up?  As pseudo-Shakespeare would say, "Me thinks not!"

Anyone who follows this blog will have the inside track on the soon-to-be-released, The Blue Note.  And for your Obi-Wan consideration, may we suggest the names: Matt Rogers for Best-Supporting Actor and Tiffany Raeuber for Best-Supporting Actress?  As a pseudo-Horton might say, "Justin Who?"